We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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