whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize