I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
