I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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