i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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