this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
