when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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