hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
