Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize