I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I look better un-naked...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
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I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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