I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
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He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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