I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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