He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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