Duck Duck Cougar?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
