Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You ate ashes out of my bong
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize