He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
did you just send me my own nude
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize