I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
