Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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