is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
