finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize