It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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