you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
