Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
