She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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