I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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