We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
