Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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