**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
