I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
