So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
