That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
