Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
