look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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