How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize