Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i dont even know how to be here
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
