I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
