Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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