Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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