I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
