I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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