My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
