he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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