Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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