ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
