he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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