Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
