If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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