Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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