sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
