he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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