I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
