Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
