beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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