i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
