no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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