He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
